So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
