please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
