Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
