Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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