there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
