You don't have asthma, your pregnant
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
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His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
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Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
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