you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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