I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
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