Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
