Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
