Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Randomize