Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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