Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
