$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
