The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
