I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Randomize
