Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
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