I just made out with a guy for $7.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
