would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
oh god was she eating orange peels again
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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