If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize