I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
