Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Randomize
