she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
no you cant smoke seaweed
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Also, beer. Big fan.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
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