hotel room ftw
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
