i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
