If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
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