Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
