The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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