i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
