When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
