Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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