it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?