i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.