this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.