I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
