i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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