i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
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