2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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