Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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