You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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