hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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