i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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