kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
