Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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