why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I skipped work to stalk him.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
He called his prostate his "boner button".
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I FOUND THE LEGS
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
