Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
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