my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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