Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
