ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
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