i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
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I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
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