Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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