Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
