Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
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