no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
