Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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