Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
