You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Randomize
