Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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