made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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