wake up i wanna do it froggy style
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
