I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
