He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize