So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Randomize
