haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
