Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
