I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
why is half of my head shaved?
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